How to Trust Yourself and the Choices You Make

I am often asked by my clients how they can know they are making the right decision or, as I call it, choice. We make hundreds of choices throughout the day. Most of the time, they are small, everyday choices, like what to eat, wear, or what to watch on TV.  Many more are automatic as part of a learned routine, habit, or conditioning. Then there are those choices that will result in some kind of impact on us and others. We have all made choices that did not turn out well—some disastrous. The retained memory of these painful events creates in the present moment uncertainty and, many times, fear of messing it up, or possible failure. The feeling has an energy that seems very real, and stops people from making a choice (which is also a choice).

Through my searching for tools to help me, I came across three definitions and practices that you can begin to apply in your daily life to cultivate confidence and trust in yourself in the choices you make.

A popular presence on YouTube, “Ask Teal”, provides a provocative practice that she suggests one commits to for 365 days. In her response to a question posed, “What is the quickest path to enlightenment?”  I found it a powerful practice to use to cultivate confidence in all your choices.

She suggests every day and all day as you are faced with a choice, ask yourself: “What would someone who loves themselves do”?  When you take a moment to relax the mind and body, drop out of your head and really ask this question, the choice will always be the first thing that comes to mind; as a gut feeling, a thought, image or body sensation. Intuition, that from the true self, will always be the highest good for yourself, which in turn is the highest good for all others. Just take a moment and give this some thought, because this goes right to the heart of the matter, literally.  How often do you make a choice based on self-love?  Yet this is where it must originate from to know, with absolute confidence, that your choice is in harmony with yourself and all others.

Another practice I have often used is given to us by Deepak Chopra in his book “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”.

When you have to make a choice, take a step back for a moment and witness the choice you are making, as you are about to make it. Become the observer to your thoughts, as a witness to them. You are now engaging in conscious choice making, which is very empowering.

From this space, ask yourself these two things: “What are the consequences of this choice I am making?”  In your heart, you will immediately know what these are.  Second, “Will this choice I am making bring happiness to me and those around me?”  If yes, then go ahead with that choice.  If the choice brings distress either to you or to those around you, then don’t make that choice.

Ultimately, there is only one choice, out of the infinity of all the choices available in every second that will create happiness for you as well as for those around you.  And when you make that one choice, it will result in behavior called spontaneous right action. It’s the action that nourishes you and everyone who is influenced by your action.

There is a mind body connection that you can tap into to further cultivate this practice. The body will respond with a sensation of comfort or discomfort and most often appears in the solar plexus or the heart space. Try it.  At the moment you consciously make a choice, pay attention to your body and ask, “If I make this choice, what happens?”  If there is a sensation of comfort, the choice is right. If there is discomfort, the choice is not the appropriate one. The heart always knows the right answer.

In closing, one of my favorite practices that can be easily written as a note and posted on your refrigerator, on your desk or work space, is this:

Luke Skywalker inquires, “How do I know the right decision to make?  Among all the many decisions, how do I know the one that will be in harmony with me and all things?

“You will know through peace and calm. You will know you’re on the right track when you’re not feeling frantic, when you’re not feeling anxious, when you’re not struggling with different parts of yourself. When you get to the right answer and the right decision that is yours, there will be a peace and calm that will come from within you and radiate from you.

“As you make decisions today, may you look for that peace and calm, and turn to it as your compass and as your comfort.”   ~ Yoda